This year I wanted to play dress up, so I went and rented an all white zoot-tux which resulted in me looking either like an extra from a UGK video, or a Pakistani Colonel Sanders. You decide. Now, you may be thinking, "Flapjacks, why would you wear an all white suit to a dinner of saucy, multicolored Indian food?" Simple. That's how I roll. Draped up and dripped out.
A pre-dinner bottle of wine, and a shot of Scotch later, I was ready to go. I was looking forward to this year's appreciation presentation. The past two were so-so; at the first our Finance Manager stole the show with his fifteen minute speech, during which I heard a few, "Does that guy work with us?" comments; last year's banked on a comedy routine that staled faster than a luke warm Lone Star on summer day. We worked hard to try and keep this one fresh, sincere, and humorous. Hard. Three meetings worth of hard. We decided on a mad lib format that would mention every staffer's name, and be filled out at the dinner. The results were hilarious. It is impossible to avoid perversion, lewdness, or non-sensical word placement when you have prompts like: body part, verb ending in -ing, or nationality. After all the blanks were filled in, the managers read them aloud to entire staff, starting with yours truly. Beautiful.
Here are some hightlights:
"Alan was busily stocking the dicks.""Marisa humped a box of ferrets on to the floor.""Soutter sipped from his gourd full of purple drank."
Of course, there were many, many more. The ultimate comedic high-point for everyone was hearing our accountant say "taint." I doubt that anything, anything will as funny as that over the next fifty weeks. Good fucking times, dear readers, good times.
There were also some awards for various categories like Wheatsville Comedian, Best Kept Beard, Most Behind the Scenes Employee, Most Likely to Clean the Break Room, and Wheatsville Sweetheart. I won for comedian, the Professor won twice for his beard, and being the most likely to start a revolution, the accountant, John, for most behind the scenes, and Aldia for most likely to clean the break room. Well thought out gift certificates were given as prizes to each of us who won. Thank you Communications Team for all your hard work.
Love will keep them together...
Karaoke was also a blast, and the highlights too long to mention. In the end, it was a night of revelry, appreciation and warm fuzzies. No one made a scene, no one got too unexpectedly inebriated, and we all made it home safely. Cheers to the many merits of co-operation.