Saturday, January 17, 2009

Draped Up and Dripped Out

For the past three years, Wheatsville has held a staff appreciation party at the Clay Pit. Now, the Clay Pit is by far not my favorite eatery, but the upstairs room is a great place for a party. The format has been the same, more or less, for all three of these parties: greeting, eating, appreciation presentation from the Management Team, karaoke/dancing, the end. Despite this cloned line-up, this year's party was by far the best, free of incident, full of adoration, love, and respect, capturing the true essence of co-operation.

This year I wanted to play dress up, so I went and rented an all white zoot-tux which resulted in me looking either like an extra from a UGK video, or a Pakistani Colonel Sanders. You decide. Now, you may be thinking, "Flapjacks, why would you wear an all white suit to a dinner of saucy, multicolored Indian food?" Simple. That's how I roll. Draped up and dripped out.

The Butcher and I

Miss Cruz and the Colonel

A pre-dinner bottle of wine, and a shot of Scotch later, I was ready to go. I was looking forward to this year's appreciation presentation. The past two were so-so; at the first our Finance Manager stole the show with his fifteen minute speech, during which I heard a few, "Does that guy work with us?" comments; last year's banked on a comedy routine that staled faster than a luke warm Lone Star on summer day. We worked hard to try and keep this one fresh, sincere, and humorous. Hard. Three meetings worth of hard. We decided on a mad lib format that would mention every staffer's name, and be filled out at the dinner. The results were hilarious. It is impossible to avoid perversion, lewdness, or non-sensical word placement when you have prompts like: body part, verb ending in -ing, or nationality. After all the blanks were filled in, the managers read them aloud to entire staff, starting with yours truly. Beautiful.

Here are some hightlights:

"Alan was busily stocking the dicks."
"Marisa humped a box of ferrets on to the floor."
"Soutter sipped from his gourd full of purple drank."

Of course, there were many, many more. The ultimate comedic high-point for everyone was hearing our accountant say "taint." I doubt that anything, anything will as funny as that over the next fifty weeks. Good fucking times, dear readers, good times.

After party.

There were also some awards for various categories like Wheatsville Comedian, Best Kept Beard, Most Behind the Scenes Employee, Most Likely to Clean the Break Room, and Wheatsville Sweetheart. I won for comedian, the Professor won twice for his beard, and being the most likely to start a revolution, the accountant, John, for most behind the scenes, and Aldia for most likely to clean the break room. Well thought out gift certificates were given as prizes to each of us who won. Thank you Communications Team for all your hard work.

Love will keep them together...

Karaoke was also a blast, and the highlights too long to mention. In the end, it was a night of revelry, appreciation and warm fuzzies. No one made a scene, no one got too unexpectedly inebriated, and we all made it home safely. Cheers to the many merits of co-operation.


Heather's Moving Castle said...

You are toooo dang funny! The suit is a riot! To know ya is to love ya!

I thought it was funny that Cliff called you on accident. He was stressing. He has to get to class tomorrow and has no ride. It is about 10 miles away. Our van should be fixed tonight, if I know him. He's on it!

juancho said...

everybody loves a sharp dressed man

TexasDeb said...

Ahh you and the butcher - great shot. I suppose the baker and candlestick maker were lined up to get drinks at the time.

I can't wear white clothes to eat saltines. I spill stuff just thinking about it. So I have to know - did you manage to get through all the drinking, eating, laughing, singing AND dancing without a spot on the Colonel's suit?

Flapjacks said...

stain free all night, bib style napkin to the rescue.

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