Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It's the Woo Mutha Fucka, Greenwoo Mutha Fucka

I had an excellent weekend cooking meals for friends, old and new. Thursday night, I got to hang out with my buddy Greenwood, or the Woo, if you're into that whole brevity thing. The Woo gave me the arbitrary nickname of Flapjacks, which at the time--2002--was actually Jihad Johnny Flapjacks. This name, which is banking on my ethnic ambiguity and fondness for facial hair, is not too safe in our modern political climate. So, Flapjacks, Flappy, or Flapper it is.

The Woo works at the north Whole Foods, in produce, and used to work at the Wheats about five years ago. We hadn't kicked it in a while, and both of us are going through some life changes right now, so it was a good time to get together and reflect on our states of being over a nice meal and some wine.

The Woo helped me pick some lettuce, and other veg for our meal. He did a damn good job holding the flashlight, and I even let him shred some cheese. I had picked up some Niman Ranch center cut pork chops, which got a quick marinade in some olive oil and sherry, as well as some organic shrimp, which also got a quick citrus bath, from work that afternoon. I wanted to do a simple salad with blood oranges, and a play on some Southern comfort food, Flappy style. The salad was indeed simple, as well as quite fresh and delicious(and nutritious!). Nothing beats fresh picked lettuce, and herbs. Nothing.

Tossed salad...

The main was pretty straightforward, I suppose, but damn good. I think you could run over this Niman meat and it would still be amazing. No lie. It's like meat heroin, and I'm the man with the golden arm. I had an abundance of fresh picked turnips, and some fingerlings on hand, which were blanched and roasted in duck fat until golden and delicious. I added some lacinato in at the last minute, which was plenty of time for it to wilt and marry flavors with the unctuous duck fat. What Southern meal is complete without grits? Cheesy, jalapeƱo, grits at that!? Yum. The pork got dressed up like a coming out debutante, with some of my homemade apple chutney, shrimp, and a nice chile ginger foam.


Fuck, someone spit on my meat!

Woo Tang Clan ain't nuttin' ta fuck wit

I'd like to take a moment to discuss the merits of the fine products from the folks at Remember When Dairy. Really, this shit is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s, bananas. There milk is more like half and half, the butter smells like butter flavoring, and the cream is the ridonkey-donk chronic shit. I would take a bath in it. Hell, it would probably be great for my skin. Wheatsville has been selling so much RWD, that they've stopped selling at the Farmer's Market. They make the only whole milk buttermilk available in Austin, and I foresee their chocolate milk taking the town by storm(now available in a dairy cooler at a co-op near you!). Anyway, if you haven't tried these products, you're missing out, and you should treat yourself to some of their dairy goodness. Happy eating in '09.


amenity said...

Beautiful as always- (but what's up with that photo of Chris?? No face?) and can't wait to try some RWD... I'll be in Austin this spring - I bet some strawberries would nicely showcase that cream, eh?

PassivePastry said...

Do you have any idear what the expiration time on the butter is? For he slower butter eaters who only cook for ourselves.
I love their buttermilk- and if the choco milk was available I'm sure I'd bathe in it

Flapjacks said...

it shouldn't go bad. if it gets moldy, just scrape it off...

Shadd Scott said...

I am in to the whole brevity thing, but Woo is not an acceptable abbreviation. Too Asian.
Greenwood is suitable and complete.
Your cooking rules!
Hopefully, you will be a chef some day.
If I win the lotto I'll send you to the CIA and hire you as my personal chef or open a restaurant or something. Your talents are wasted in Wheatsville.
Which wines are on that table, Heitz Cellars?

Flapjacks said...

damn you're good... you can only see a slice of that bottle... the woo comes from WV. when you type in Greenwood's member number, it's too long for the screen, so Greenwoo pops up. hence all the Wu Tang jokes. i've called him the largest Vietnamese man i've met ever since...

if you could afford my salary, i'd come cook for you now. knowmsayin'?

TexasDeb said...

How's about sharing your chile gravy secrets, eh?

wv: hobled as in "She hobled over to the table for seconds of cheese grits only to find they were long gone, already consumed by Woo and the Flap."

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