Friday, October 24, 2008

Musings of the Future Self

I was told once by a co-worker that I would be okay when I'm forty. What she meant was easy enough to understand: my personality would have gelled by then, and I wouldn't be such an ass. 

This, along with another comment he she made to me on my twenty-fifth birthday -- "Everything you used to do that was cute, is going to be creepy now." -- have stuck with me over the years. We aren't really friends anymore, which is a shame, but those thoughts echo in my mind. 

I do wonder, however, what the future holds sometimes. I know that these thoughts are fiction, yet find some merit in pursuing the path of actualizing 'who you want to be'. This person, to me anyways is very fluid. If I'm doing it right, who I want to be now, shouldn't be who I want to be five years from now. I enjoy living a life cognizant that my personal growth is essential, and that stagnation of self is the enemy. 

So. Who do I want to be? Forty is thirteen years from now. In the continuum that is my life -- which could end today -- thirteen years isn't that long. Thirteen years ago I was fourteen. Is this where I thought I'd be at fourteen? No. I was in a bad place thirteen years ago, and the future was wholly uncertain. 

Thirteen years before that, I was one, and had no concept of self. The next thirteen years will be some of the most interesting that our species has ever seen. I am eager to see what happens in the world, and beyond, in that time. 

What I do know, or at least think I know, is that I want to be a positive force in the lives of others. Period. This is a huge challenge, for you, despite your efforts, do not decide how others perceive your actions. 

Hmmn. Life is beautiful, and so are you.


TexasDeb said...

I can't remark on what kind of friend you are - but as a somebody getting to know another somebody, I'd say you are throwing out a lot that is very positive.

I've observed kids and cats seem to like you. Always good.

Don't worry about 40 btw. 40 is Western bullshit. Today is all that ever counts. As DByrne puts it "everything that happens will happen today.

Flapjacks said...

no doubt. that is my philosophy. it's just that her comment makes sense in this bizarre underlying way. 40 is the new 20.

Kevin said...

you're a good man mr. livesay. good seing you last night.

don't forget: wine & dine, post-london.

Flapjacks said...

sorry i passed out...

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